Blog letters: neighbor

Dear neighbor,

It's a lovely day. It's 63 degrees and breezy, and the evil Texas sun is not making me feel like I could die of heat stroke at the drop of a hat. It's my day off. After a week from hell. You see neighbor our fence fell down on Tuesday when the storms came through, so my two doggies have been inside my house more than they're used to since I can't spend all day supervising them in my fence less backyard. So I decided to treat them to a little walk this morning.

They were having a grand old time. My oldest child decided to stop in front of your house and poop. You know... dogs do that. My back was to your house and maybe you didn't see me. But I stood there for a while because I was having a hard time getting the bag out. You see neighbor this morning before we left for our walk I cut two of my finger on the door. It burns like crap and that's why I have neon green and purple band aids on my right hand nonetheless. So I pulled out one bag and it had a hole on the bottom of it. For obvious reasons I wasn't going to pick up poop with a bag that has a hole on the bottom of it. Right? Absolutely. So I pull out another one and tear it more carefully this time. When I hear my dear sweet puppies who are patiently waiting for me sitting a few feet ahead of me on the ground looking like little angels start barking. I turn around and see you coming after me. I then look over and see your two kids holding the blind open staring at me too. That when you see me open up my bright purple doggie poop picker upper bag. I said "Hi!" in a bright cheery voice because it's my day off and I'm happy, I bend over and picked up the poop off of your yard. I turn around to see you and you're going back into your house.

Don't you feel silly now? See neighbor... when I first got Oliver (my oldest) I'd take regular grocery bags with me on walks. One time I was walking him and he went twice. Well... I only had one bag. I felt bad. I left the one little turd he did the second time on that person's yard. After that I purchased a handy dandy bag dispenser. Oliver's is grey and April's is pink. So as I'm walking my dogs I have two rolls of baggies attached to their leash. Next time I'm walking my dogs past your house and one of them goes poop in your yard. Fret not. I'll be picking it up with my baggies. Maybe you should get after the people with the great dane that roams around the neighborhood without a leash, or the ones that leave their boston terrier run around loose, or the people that walk their dogs without baggies. Please leave me and my doggies alone next time and keep your creepy children's eyes away from the blinds.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

Much love,

Your responsible pet owner/neighbor

Image from here.